i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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