Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
