but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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