This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We got so high we made milksteak
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
