well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
