that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
