My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
