Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it was like eating out sand paper
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
