Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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