Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
