Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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