Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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