as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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