I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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