I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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