pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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