So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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