AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
there is puke in my bra ... again
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
