yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
