so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Please don't give away my fajitas
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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