so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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