party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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