Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
