He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Small penises have feelings too.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
