So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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