At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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