Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm always down for nudity.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
