He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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