Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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