he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
