We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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