The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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