You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
