Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
