She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
