haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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