WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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