Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
if only i could text you this smell
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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