the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
