You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
4 words: hood of his car
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just googled if crying burns calories
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
