I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
