I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
