So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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