I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
