I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
