He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
that may or may not have been my penis.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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