My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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