2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
