I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You were trust falling into bushes
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
