I love black thongs
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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