Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
