Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
