you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize