I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
