I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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