you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
