Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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