help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
