Little spoons don't ask big questions
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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