its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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