i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
