i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
