the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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