More tranny stories later!
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
